Is she a skank or are you jealous?
September 2nd 2007 01:22
I'm sure we've all heard of a girl being called a name or two for wearing something that someone else thought was too revealing. Maybe someone thought the girl slept around a bit and -regardless of if this was true or not- decided she need to be labeled a skank, or a ho, a slapper, etc. I even had the honor of being labeled a 'super skank' by some random passer-by for daring to wear a mini skirt in the middle of summer. Now, I'm thinking that if you think so poorly of someone, maybe you could just shut your mouth and move on with your life. Well, if not holding someone in high regard were the only reason for the derogatory names, I imagine you could, but I suspected there was more to it and so I set out to find out what.
I wondered if jealousy played a part particularly when it's one female making these comments about another. I mean, let’s say Female 1 has bought herself a nice summer dress that fits her well. It's sleeveless and end perhaps 6cm (2 inches) above the knee. She's happily strolling along in her new outfit when Female 2 spots her. Female 2 does not think that she can wear that same dress and look as good as Female 1 and this upsets Female 2 and lowers her self esteem. Female 2 does not like this feeling and decides to make herself feel better by labeling Female 1 a 'piece of trash'. Sensational, but what is the logic behind this move? While Female 2 desires to appear pretty, sexy etc everything Female 1 is in that dress, she does not wish to be thought of as 'easy' or the town whore. She decides that if this is what Female 1 looks like in that dress, then that outfit is not desirable and Female 2 feels better because she is not degrading herself like Female 1 is by wearing that filthy rag. Female 2 needs to make this comment to ease her insecurities rather than to provide a public service announcement.
Okay, so that covers females being jealous of each other, but what about guys? What exactly makes a guy decide in the 2 seconds he's been looking at a girl that she's a sleaze or what not? Well it could very well be jealousy again. Let's say Man thinks Woman is 'too good for him' or 'out of his league'. This depresses Man and he begins to reflect on what he thinks are his flaws or his inadequacies when compared to other men. Man does not like this line of thinking and decides to alleviate himself of it. How does he do that? He decides Woman is not 'too good for him' but in fact the exact opposite. She is the girl that everyone has had and that everyone can have. Being with her would hardly be a credit to his manliness- she is a dirty tramp. Reassured, Man no longer feel bad because he has put Woman down. Good for him. (That was sarcasm people)
The above scenarios both involve a girl being called something inappropriate to make the insecure parties feel better. These girls are fictional in that I made their stories up just now to accompany my writing. They are not fictional in the sense that these scenarios are common, so there would be few people reading this who don't know of something like this happening in their lives.
What happens to these girls can vary. Some might wonder 'who, me' having thought they looked pretty and feminine. They may become insecure and begin looking at their wardrobe in a different light, thinking that they deserved the comment and that many others have thought the same.
Others may have heard it before and developed a thicker skin. They may have reasoned that the person with the problem is the one shouting at them from across the street and decided to not give them a second thought.
Others still may have different reactions or a blend of reactions. In any case, there's a girl left to consider her identity and how she presents herself because someone else had issues with their identity and the way they present themselves.
In this post I was not trying to suggest jealousy is the only reason for females being labeled various things, I was simply exploring a reason.
I wondered if jealousy played a part particularly when it's one female making these comments about another. I mean, let’s say Female 1 has bought herself a nice summer dress that fits her well. It's sleeveless and end perhaps 6cm (2 inches) above the knee. She's happily strolling along in her new outfit when Female 2 spots her. Female 2 does not think that she can wear that same dress and look as good as Female 1 and this upsets Female 2 and lowers her self esteem. Female 2 does not like this feeling and decides to make herself feel better by labeling Female 1 a 'piece of trash'. Sensational, but what is the logic behind this move? While Female 2 desires to appear pretty, sexy etc everything Female 1 is in that dress, she does not wish to be thought of as 'easy' or the town whore. She decides that if this is what Female 1 looks like in that dress, then that outfit is not desirable and Female 2 feels better because she is not degrading herself like Female 1 is by wearing that filthy rag. Female 2 needs to make this comment to ease her insecurities rather than to provide a public service announcement.
Okay, so that covers females being jealous of each other, but what about guys? What exactly makes a guy decide in the 2 seconds he's been looking at a girl that she's a sleaze or what not? Well it could very well be jealousy again. Let's say Man thinks Woman is 'too good for him' or 'out of his league'. This depresses Man and he begins to reflect on what he thinks are his flaws or his inadequacies when compared to other men. Man does not like this line of thinking and decides to alleviate himself of it. How does he do that? He decides Woman is not 'too good for him' but in fact the exact opposite. She is the girl that everyone has had and that everyone can have. Being with her would hardly be a credit to his manliness- she is a dirty tramp. Reassured, Man no longer feel bad because he has put Woman down. Good for him. (That was sarcasm people)
The above scenarios both involve a girl being called something inappropriate to make the insecure parties feel better. These girls are fictional in that I made their stories up just now to accompany my writing. They are not fictional in the sense that these scenarios are common, so there would be few people reading this who don't know of something like this happening in their lives.
What happens to these girls can vary. Some might wonder 'who, me' having thought they looked pretty and feminine. They may become insecure and begin looking at their wardrobe in a different light, thinking that they deserved the comment and that many others have thought the same.
Others may have heard it before and developed a thicker skin. They may have reasoned that the person with the problem is the one shouting at them from across the street and decided to not give them a second thought.
Others still may have different reactions or a blend of reactions. In any case, there's a girl left to consider her identity and how she presents herself because someone else had issues with their identity and the way they present themselves.
In this post I was not trying to suggest jealousy is the only reason for females being labeled various things, I was simply exploring a reason.
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Best thing to do when somene says that is yawn. Maybe follow that up with "Oh, now that's a witty comment. Did you come up with that all by yourself?"