We can't speak right 'n' that
September 5th 2007 00:11
Are you tired of random apostrophes in sentences? Fuming over the fact that it is not 'Jim and me' but rather 'Jim and I? Well this might be the product for you! Just call 1-800- well okay maybe not. I woke up and thought I'd invented a device to cure us all of our lingual faux pas but it turns out that was only a dream. Now while my invention was only imaginary, our little grammar mishaps are not.
I have no clue where we pick up these bad habits or why we think they're better than the original version and neither do my Research Rodents for the most part. A few of them half heartedly suggested that there is a trend to emulate the glittering inhabitants of Tinsel Town but none were too enthusiastic when compiling this thesis. The best I could get in the way of an example was the lingo of rap and R 'n' B gaining everyday usage. I mean 'bling' has even entered the Oxford English Dictionary as a word for jewellery or showing one's wealth. Okay, so this goes a little way to explain new terms cropping up but certainly does not cover the litany of grammatical debris that has landed squarely in the middle of our diction. While I may not have invented a device to clear this rubble instantaneously, the next best thing is for me to become an impromptu cleaner, so stand back and watch as I restore some of English’s tarnished gleam.
It is not Jim and me, or Jane and me or even your entire family and me- it is them and I. I- 1st person. If you are talking about something you did or something you said or establishing that someone was with you, you use I. If you're talking about [insert name here], the use of their name or something that means them, right there, the person in front of you, you're placing them in the 1st person, so if they're in 1st person so are you. Got it? Lovely.
Next up we have the apostrophe and the letter S. Allow me to break it down for you;
's means belonging to e.g. the journey's end. This means you are talking about the end of the journey; it is the end that it possessed by the journey.
S on the end of a word means plural; more than one. An example is the trucks are fast. This is to say, there is more than one truck, and all of them are rapid. If you say the truck's are fast, you are saying something belonging to the trucks is fast- what would that be? The truck's wheels are fast? The truck's drivers are fast? You cannot simply say 'the truck's are fast'- that is incorrect. 's means something is owned, s means there is more than one. Still with me? Fabulous.
Next on my list is 'I could care less'. Oh how I hate statement. Why? Because when most people use it they mean 'I do not care at all' BUT that is not what they are saying and I'll show you why.
'I could' implies that you can, you re able to as in I could go to the beach, I could stay up all night, I could live here. In all these cases you are saying I am able, it is possible for me to do these things THEREFORE if you say 'I could care less' you are saying I can care less, you are able to care less, it is possible for you to care less. IF what you mean to imply is that you care so little about something there is no way- no possibility for you to care even less than you already do, what you should say is 'I couldn't care less'. This is akin to I can't go to the beach, I can't stay up all night and I can't live here. In all these cases you are saying you can not (can't is the abbreviation with the apostrophe showing where letters have been removed) you are not able to, it is not possible. Please, please tell me you got that one.
There are more of these grammatical errors that need correcting, but seeing as I am not paid as a teacher, I am not going to do a teacher's job.
But there are teachers out there and they are paid as teachers, so I wonder why they did not do their job and teach us. Why is it that my university lecturer had to stop the class and explain what a control unit in a sentence is? Why is it that a foreign exchange student learning English was the first to ever mention passive language- a topic we never covered in class? A few years ago an international study found Australian children to be the least educated in all the developed countries. Is it just me, or is Generation Y somewhat lacking in the smarts department? Good thing it's not my job to blog about Generation Z.
My education is about as sensational as yours- if you would like to correct something in this post, please go right ahead.
I have no clue where we pick up these bad habits or why we think they're better than the original version and neither do my Research Rodents for the most part. A few of them half heartedly suggested that there is a trend to emulate the glittering inhabitants of Tinsel Town but none were too enthusiastic when compiling this thesis. The best I could get in the way of an example was the lingo of rap and R 'n' B gaining everyday usage. I mean 'bling' has even entered the Oxford English Dictionary as a word for jewellery or showing one's wealth. Okay, so this goes a little way to explain new terms cropping up but certainly does not cover the litany of grammatical debris that has landed squarely in the middle of our diction. While I may not have invented a device to clear this rubble instantaneously, the next best thing is for me to become an impromptu cleaner, so stand back and watch as I restore some of English’s tarnished gleam.
It is not Jim and me, or Jane and me or even your entire family and me- it is them and I. I- 1st person. If you are talking about something you did or something you said or establishing that someone was with you, you use I. If you're talking about [insert name here], the use of their name or something that means them, right there, the person in front of you, you're placing them in the 1st person, so if they're in 1st person so are you. Got it? Lovely.
Next up we have the apostrophe and the letter S. Allow me to break it down for you;
's means belonging to e.g. the journey's end. This means you are talking about the end of the journey; it is the end that it possessed by the journey.
S on the end of a word means plural; more than one. An example is the trucks are fast. This is to say, there is more than one truck, and all of them are rapid. If you say the truck's are fast, you are saying something belonging to the trucks is fast- what would that be? The truck's wheels are fast? The truck's drivers are fast? You cannot simply say 'the truck's are fast'- that is incorrect. 's means something is owned, s means there is more than one. Still with me? Fabulous.
Next on my list is 'I could care less'. Oh how I hate statement. Why? Because when most people use it they mean 'I do not care at all' BUT that is not what they are saying and I'll show you why.
'I could' implies that you can, you re able to as in I could go to the beach, I could stay up all night, I could live here. In all these cases you are saying I am able, it is possible for me to do these things THEREFORE if you say 'I could care less' you are saying I can care less, you are able to care less, it is possible for you to care less. IF what you mean to imply is that you care so little about something there is no way- no possibility for you to care even less than you already do, what you should say is 'I couldn't care less'. This is akin to I can't go to the beach, I can't stay up all night and I can't live here. In all these cases you are saying you can not (can't is the abbreviation with the apostrophe showing where letters have been removed) you are not able to, it is not possible. Please, please tell me you got that one.
There are more of these grammatical errors that need correcting, but seeing as I am not paid as a teacher, I am not going to do a teacher's job.
But there are teachers out there and they are paid as teachers, so I wonder why they did not do their job and teach us. Why is it that my university lecturer had to stop the class and explain what a control unit in a sentence is? Why is it that a foreign exchange student learning English was the first to ever mention passive language- a topic we never covered in class? A few years ago an international study found Australian children to be the least educated in all the developed countries. Is it just me, or is Generation Y somewhat lacking in the smarts department? Good thing it's not my job to blog about Generation Z.
My education is about as sensational as yours- if you would like to correct something in this post, please go right ahead.
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