A generation of orange zebras
November 28th 2007 06:07
I am referring to fake tanning and what happens if you get it wrong.
Campaigns such as the Dark Side of Tanning and publicity given to melanoma sufferers have led people to hide from the sun.
Now, as a natural redhead, I acknowledged the sun as my natural enemy a long time ago and resigned myself to my underground lair without much of a fight but can you imagine my surprise when I had a bunch of blondes and brunettes beating a path to my door looking for a place to hide? While I wasn't thrilled by the fact that I would now be playing hostess to all of these refugees, I did look on the bright side (no pun intended) and decided that millions of heads are better than one when devising a plot to block out the sun, so the more of these cancer avoiders I rounded up, the more chance I would have of defeating my solar nemesis.
That's all well and good or me, but my guests are still on the hunt for glowing skin. I am quite happy with my alabaster completion and thus have resigned myself to looking puzzled from the side lines as my wards return from a trip to the salon looking like a heard of orange zebras in a Salvador Dali painting. It seems that a few of them have broken away from the heard mentality and realised tanning is not something they are equipped for and thus have headed to their local spray tan joint for a proper once over. This has led to a decrease in streaks due to uneven application but I can't say it's done much for in creating a natural looking tan as 'orange peel' seems to still be the preferred setting for many. Oh well, each to his own I suppose.
The cosmetic industry seems to have noticed that I'm hiding all the sunlight dodgers and decided to cash in on my guests because bottled tans that promise to build up minus the streaking and been popping up left, right and centre. I wonder if this strategy aimed to mimic golfers at all...
So, while we don't seem to be keen on going to an early grave thanks to our galaxy's domineering star, we do still seek the result it can bring us... minus the melanoma. Well good on you lot for choosing to join the fight against sunlight, but can you please go find your own holes to hide in? I want my lair back.
Campaigns such as the Dark Side of Tanning and publicity given to melanoma sufferers have led people to hide from the sun.
Now, as a natural redhead, I acknowledged the sun as my natural enemy a long time ago and resigned myself to my underground lair without much of a fight but can you imagine my surprise when I had a bunch of blondes and brunettes beating a path to my door looking for a place to hide? While I wasn't thrilled by the fact that I would now be playing hostess to all of these refugees, I did look on the bright side (no pun intended) and decided that millions of heads are better than one when devising a plot to block out the sun, so the more of these cancer avoiders I rounded up, the more chance I would have of defeating my solar nemesis.
That's all well and good or me, but my guests are still on the hunt for glowing skin. I am quite happy with my alabaster completion and thus have resigned myself to looking puzzled from the side lines as my wards return from a trip to the salon looking like a heard of orange zebras in a Salvador Dali painting. It seems that a few of them have broken away from the heard mentality and realised tanning is not something they are equipped for and thus have headed to their local spray tan joint for a proper once over. This has led to a decrease in streaks due to uneven application but I can't say it's done much for in creating a natural looking tan as 'orange peel' seems to still be the preferred setting for many. Oh well, each to his own I suppose.
The cosmetic industry seems to have noticed that I'm hiding all the sunlight dodgers and decided to cash in on my guests because bottled tans that promise to build up minus the streaking and been popping up left, right and centre. I wonder if this strategy aimed to mimic golfers at all...
So, while we don't seem to be keen on going to an early grave thanks to our galaxy's domineering star, we do still seek the result it can bring us... minus the melanoma. Well good on you lot for choosing to join the fight against sunlight, but can you please go find your own holes to hide in? I want my lair back.
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