get off the damn road
September 6th 2007 10:02
Hands up whoever's had a bad experience with youth and cars. *surveys her domain* Yep that's what I thought-all of my subjects. (Results may be fictional) If you're feeling bad about an accident you've had or paranoid that something might happen thes is the post for you. I've compiled a few road boo-boos for you to leaf through in order to give you an idea of the nature of the beast- where it lurks and what it eats.
We begin with the only of my road related traumas to involve another person; I call it the Tale of the Red Light Mating Dance.
Up a significant way ahead there was a red light, I and all the traffic around me slowed down. I came to a full stop because the car in front of me did, but then it moved forward a little bit so I did the same. I stopped again, but more space was made so I moved forward again. I was engaged in this act when a loud crash was heard form the back of my car. Knowing the body of the rival blogger in my truck was definitely dead, I reasoned that it could not be making and escape attempt and that what I must have heard was my ass being turned into a garage (This saying is not nearly as funny in English as it is in Romanian). The car behind me and I pulled into the left lane and I exited to inspect the damage. I needn't have worried- my car is made form the same material my skull is, aint nothing gonna get through that whether it be text book or machine. My ride only had a long scratch to her paint work running the length of her bumper. One of my front teeth was slightly chipped but apart from that everyone and everything else was fine.
Allow me to continue my focus on innocent young drivers and red lights- allow me to bring you the Story of the Missing Lights.
I'm assuming you all know that break lights are not an optional addition. You know you won't be charged extra for them and that they are in fact a requirement to one's vehicle. Of course you do, you's a smart cookie. The same cannot be said for the villain of this story who's missing break lights caused an accident and the missing of a concert. Uh-huh, imagine if you will your friends are on their way to a major concert only a day after the driver had gotten their license. Suddenly an ambulance is heard up ahead, the driver slows, scanning for the source of the sound. It's just up ahead- only one car between our main characters and the Save Them Mobil. Well it's this one car in between that slams its break on to avoid a collision. Too bad its break lights are non-existent and our heroes end up in hospital with bruising and shortness of breath. Obviously the concert was missed.
Oh but it gets worse! Okay not for those people, but this next story is a doozey; I call it, Beware the Pole.
It is lightly raining. Your lights are on, you indicate that you wish to turn right and commence slowing down. There is no on-coming traffic and at your slowed pace, you begin turing. You have not been drinking, you are not on your phone and your passenger/s is/are not distracting you. Suddenly, you hit a telegraph pole and the police are charging you with negligent driving. True story. The court case is still pending so I have no information about the end result.
If you're thinking the footpath might be safe(r) you are wrong wrong WRONG and I have the story to prove it. No flashy title this time, just an idiot who decided to speed up through a pedestrian crossing while pedestrians were crossing. Only when the hands of one made contact with this idiot's bonnet did he stop- so the pedestrian could get out of his way. Once this happened he sped off never to be heard form again. Don't bother to check of your almost victim is okay or anything.
So you see my loyal subjects, car accidents are out there waiting for you and they are not always disguised as inexperienced new drivers. The beast has many forms and it takes on the one that will be most enticing to you.
We begin with the only of my road related traumas to involve another person; I call it the Tale of the Red Light Mating Dance.
Up a significant way ahead there was a red light, I and all the traffic around me slowed down. I came to a full stop because the car in front of me did, but then it moved forward a little bit so I did the same. I stopped again, but more space was made so I moved forward again. I was engaged in this act when a loud crash was heard form the back of my car. Knowing the body of the rival blogger in my truck was definitely dead, I reasoned that it could not be making and escape attempt and that what I must have heard was my ass being turned into a garage (This saying is not nearly as funny in English as it is in Romanian). The car behind me and I pulled into the left lane and I exited to inspect the damage. I needn't have worried- my car is made form the same material my skull is, aint nothing gonna get through that whether it be text book or machine. My ride only had a long scratch to her paint work running the length of her bumper. One of my front teeth was slightly chipped but apart from that everyone and everything else was fine.
Allow me to continue my focus on innocent young drivers and red lights- allow me to bring you the Story of the Missing Lights.
I'm assuming you all know that break lights are not an optional addition. You know you won't be charged extra for them and that they are in fact a requirement to one's vehicle. Of course you do, you's a smart cookie. The same cannot be said for the villain of this story who's missing break lights caused an accident and the missing of a concert. Uh-huh, imagine if you will your friends are on their way to a major concert only a day after the driver had gotten their license. Suddenly an ambulance is heard up ahead, the driver slows, scanning for the source of the sound. It's just up ahead- only one car between our main characters and the Save Them Mobil. Well it's this one car in between that slams its break on to avoid a collision. Too bad its break lights are non-existent and our heroes end up in hospital with bruising and shortness of breath. Obviously the concert was missed.
Oh but it gets worse! Okay not for those people, but this next story is a doozey; I call it, Beware the Pole.
It is lightly raining. Your lights are on, you indicate that you wish to turn right and commence slowing down. There is no on-coming traffic and at your slowed pace, you begin turing. You have not been drinking, you are not on your phone and your passenger/s is/are not distracting you. Suddenly, you hit a telegraph pole and the police are charging you with negligent driving. True story. The court case is still pending so I have no information about the end result.
If you're thinking the footpath might be safe(r) you are wrong wrong WRONG and I have the story to prove it. No flashy title this time, just an idiot who decided to speed up through a pedestrian crossing while pedestrians were crossing. Only when the hands of one made contact with this idiot's bonnet did he stop- so the pedestrian could get out of his way. Once this happened he sped off never to be heard form again. Don't bother to check of your almost victim is okay or anything.
So you see my loyal subjects, car accidents are out there waiting for you and they are not always disguised as inexperienced new drivers. The beast has many forms and it takes on the one that will be most enticing to you.
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